you guys. in the past few days, it has really settled in. i feel pregnant.
some friends told me that week 34 could be the point where i feel this, and sure enough, they were right. but let me begin by saying this: i'm learning that there are whole new levels to the with child state. i might be glad that some are just temporary, but i'm happy and amazed that they are happening. (this is not a whining session.) i now know the feeling of being tired from walking over to the sink. i know the feeling of "this is the last time i try to lift this laundry by myself." i know losing my thoughts and forgetting what i was going to say. i know blood pumping from just standing around. i know sore feet and weak arms. i know laying in bed, not being able to get a deep breath. i know heartburn. i know waking up. a lot. i know having to take it easy.

and then there are other hours of the day.
when i'm me. i don't feel a thing other than myself. i'm just a girl making granola or cleaning her bathroom sink (both things i finally did today!) or sitting cross-legged on the couch watching news about the royal wedding, and feeling the same way i do every end-of-april. i'm ready to wear flip-flops and am counting down the days left at school...

oh, and realizing that a baby will be here in a matter of weeks. 5, 6, 7 weeks? it doesn't really matter, because they are sure to be busy, and gone before i know it. that's partly why this week has taken a path of its own, and why it didn't include much computer time. i've been spending it figuring out my changing body and life, and trying to keep up. i haven't even been here to wish you all a happy easter or say thank you for the birthday love! (i am so behind on my thank yous- it's embarrassing. but thank you!!) i am also behind on taking tummy photos. i am also behind on reading a stack of library books, which will now need to be renewed. because lately, being diligent in the daily things takes all of me.

but i am thankful for each little thing that gets done, all the way down to taking a vitamin. i'm thankful that i have things to do, that i'm feeling the weight of expecting a child, that our living room has been re-arranged, that the computer has been ignored, that i can feel baby squirms, that it didn't rain today, that some mornings go by too fast because i've been filling up notecards with bible verses to remember during labor, that i have an awesome husband who makes sure we still hang out, and most of all, that my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. thank goodness i have Him to be my priority and to make my paths straight. even when i feel like i'm barely keeping up with what's going on today, i can use Him as my sun, my shield, and my guide.

hi guys! happy monday. so do you have leftover ham from easter dinner? then you're in luck! you can make these yummy hot ham sandwiches ... with buttery mustard spread and swiss cheese :) mmmm. find the recipe today on the smithfield blog!


i'll be back later with a little more to say.

hello friends, thanks for coming to a little birthday party post!

it's april 22nd. i have been waiting for this day. i love this day! it always feels a little magical. by the time you read this, grant will have already taken me off to minneapolis for a day of shopping and eating our favorite foods.. so let the weekend celebrations begin!

i thought i'd tell you a little bit about myself on this day, since you probably know nothing about me, right? (right.. :) so, here we go. by the way, the number of things on this list is not how old i am turning today. it's just a random list :)

hey, if you need a recipe for easter dinner, i'm sharing my favorite baked ham recipe today on the smithfield blog-- come on over! this glaze is so simple and amazing.

If you've never had cream cheese on a pizza, get excited. If you think red onion is delish, get excited. If you like pizza with lots of parmesan, get excited. You will love this.

the baby's room change color. thank you, grant!
a fire at my brother and sister in law's house (in the fireplace, that is).
the clock saying midnight. what?! we always put the baby to bed earlier than this :)
season 1 of parks & rec.
a blanket of snow come and go, twice.
saturday before 7 am.
the inside of my library book.
watermelon on my fork! it was just what we needed to balance out the snow.
palm branches at church.
a comfy vintage chair, which now has a tag with my name on it.
winter coats.
clean sheets.
strawberry shakes + harry potter and the deathly hallows.
rain, rain, rain. clouds.
grant using his saw.
a nap going too long.
bacon and eggs.
dishes getting done.
big baby waves across my stomach.
asparagus and red onion pizza (sooooo good. recipe coming!)

happy monday, friends! what did you see this weekend?

when i saw rachel's post yesterday, namely the "tangible love" part, i stopped. how sweet is a gift you leave in the fridge? i had to do it. i may not be able to buy him the vintage mini bike he's dreaming of, but i can hand squeeze 14 oranges.

it felt so good to do something spontaneous for my husband that i knew he would appreciate. there are few things he would appreciate more than this, actually. that's what was so cool about the idea. thanks, rachel. yesterday when grant got home from school and found his gift he said, "this is exactly what i wanted and i didn't know it." and that was exactly what i wanted.

other news from my house..
all my shirts are tight.
listening to classical music right now, because it's raining. and that feels right.
took the first long walk outside yesterday. it was dry and sunny and i didn't see any snow!
uh-oh... snow coming this weekend.
uh-oh.. we started arrested development again.
sitting in this chair used to be comfortable... i think.
project: baby's room is underway.
trying to decide if i'm going to commit to my gym membership in may.
i think i'm going to make shaved asparagus pizza this weekend.
asparagus! it's that time of year again. yay.
can we have another day in the week- that's just for reading books? thanks.

i can't believe i forgot to add berries to this bowl. i love strawberries with salads! ...now i could stop writing this post right here and let you go away thinking that maybe i have a perfect relationship with salad. maybe it's my favorite thing and i have no trouble eating it by the bowlful, every day. but that would be a blog facade. so allow me to elaborate: 


director's choice dressing
adapted from the camp shetek cookbook. perfect for salad and sandwich.

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
2 T. canola oil
1 tsp. poppy seed
1/4 tsp. salt (or more to taste)
1/4 cup honey
2 tsp. mustard
**pour all ingredients into a jar and shake well before serving. store in the fridge.

salad. i like it. i may order it from time to time at a restaurant. deep down, i don't get super pumped for it. i eat it because it goes well with things. i eat it because it's good for me. because it looks pretty on my plate. because it's better than a lot of other options. sometimes i eat it first to get it out of the way. salad is business. anyone with me? what do you do to make sure you get your green, leafy things? in a way that doesn't feel like a burden? here are things that help me:

although normally i prefer semi-sweet chocolate in my sweets, i had the banana perfectly browned from days of waiting on my counter, and there was no way i was not making these cookies because i ran out of chocolate chips. so i used milk chocolate m&m's instead. and i opted for all whole wheat flour. and i cut the sugar in half. and they still turned out! really soft and yummy, actually. and pretty.

please do use semi-sweet chocolate if you have it in your cupboard though. it really makes a cookie. and please do try this recipe if you're looking for a healthy cookie that still feels like a for reals cookie. and please do see the original recipe if you want the more luxurious, five-star version.



banana m&m cookies
less sugary than the original banana cookies, a big fave at our house

1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup white whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp. coarse salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 cup softened butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 small egg
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup mashed very ripe banana (about 1 large)
1 cup old-fashioned oats
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips or m&m's, or a mix

preheat oven to 375. whisk together flours, salt, and baking soda in a small bowl, set aside. mix butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. add egg and vanilla, mix until combined. mix in banana. add flour mixture, mix until just combined. stir in oats and chocolate. drop dough onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (important! the parchment really helps here.) bake cookies, rotating sheets halfway through, for 10-12 minutes, or until golden brown and just set. (cookies will look pretty brown, but don't worry! it's just the effect of the banana. they're good!) let cool on sheets 5 minutes, then transfer to wire rack.
___________________________________________________________________________

wow, it's been forever since i've made cookies. it felt good. so how is your monday going? mine is going like this... i slept really late. i'm not going to tell you how late because i'm embarrassed. let's just chalk it up to being pregnant, right? also, there are bugs creeping out from the corners of our house. it's definitely spring. i was just thinking the other day how excited i am that our house is not very "spidery"... maybe i spoke too soon. (actually, most of the bugs i've seen lately are the nasty pseudo ladybug things we have in droves around here.) also, i'm having a hard time staying on track. i find myself strolling around the house.. snapping my fingers to the music i have on... trying to remember what i was going to do next. oh well! it's sunny and there are no deadlines. i'm at home, and happy to be here.

ps. my yellow cake stand was made by incredibly talented little sister! yeah. she's awesome. and, if you're not a big banana person, there's a good chance you still might like these. the banana is not super intense- but it does give them a nice, moist sweetness.

dear baby

t-minus 8 weeks today! although it feels like this process has gone so quickly (you were inside me way back in september?), being pregnant is starting to feel permanent. i'm starting to forget what it was like before. not that that's a bad thing. i really am having a good time carrying you. not faking it. it's just that i'm anxious to win the prize at the end of this race. you are going to be the biggest and best blue ribbon of my life.

but have i mentioned that your room is not ready yet? so, it's a good thing we still have these next 8 weeks. don't worry, i'm told that when you get here all you'll really want is mom and dad. we're here. and you won't care about paint colors for a long time yet.

we're scheduling appointments for you every other week now. i guess that's our cue to get ready. you'll be here soon! and you are doing your part. how you've grown since i last wrote to you! we keep getting all good reports. and you're sitting head down, too! way to go. that news made your mommy so happy. i just love being able to picture how you're riding around. i even learned how to feel your head, which was a crazy moment. i always get the giggles while i'm laying down for your check-ups... partly because i'm so ticklish, but mostly because i'm freaking out because you are real.

i can definitely tell that you're the boss of my body now.. taking charge of when i go to the bathroom and how deeply i can breathe and making sure i get up at least once during the night. you've cleared a nice path for your hang-out, and everything else (like, organs) is getting pushed up and out. i can feel it! it's amazing. tossing and turning in bed isn't quite as effortless as it sounds anymore. i usually support both sides of my tummy with my hands before i make a move now. it's fun to have to think about you more and more as you grow.

i keep thinking about how fun it would be to go swimming while you're inside me. i just know it would feel awesome. i also keep trying to picture calling you by name. and listening for your cry. i dream about coming to the rescue when i hear you crying. i can't wait to be what you need most.

your dad will be home for the weekend soon! i'm sure we'll talk about you a lot. we always do.

loves,
your mom

just send me strawberries, please.

so my husband brings home a 5 pound bouquet of berries for me, instead of a dozen roses. he gets me. he gets my love for practical gifts. (and strawberries.) sometimes he brings a block of good cheese, a box of my fave cereal, a carton of something organic and yummy, some amazing-looking romaine lettuce, a box of oranges, or something else as exciting. groceries make incredible gifts, right? not that you'd catch me being ungrateful for flowers.



ps. the doris day shout out in the title is for you. my old movie friends. you know who you are. 

i love when the first thing i want to do when i get home is listen to new-to-me songs. 
between this, and tangled, 90% of the thoughts in my head today have been sung. 

if i had to pick one of my favorite kitchen tools,
i'd pick my zester.
because i love to zest.
i love the smell of zest.
i love the things that you can make with the zest.

speaking of which..



have you made these miracle blueberry pie bars yet? they are my faaaaavorite. lemon sugar.. and sour cream.. and berries? i'm not even a fruit pie lover and i ask you, what could be better? get the recipe for my non-chocolate fave on the smithfield blog today.

it's april! and i am so happy about it. granted, i'm still shuffling around the house in my slippers while i do laundry today. but, the winter fog has lifted. grant has been out in the yard, the sky has been blue (has it been gray all these months? i really think it must've been), and our ice rink is gone.. leaving us a huge square of surprisingly green grass.